On Puzzles

Everybody you meet has a puzzle.

Your puzzle is different to mine. Mine is different to yours. Mine may be really big and overwhelming and complicated. Yours may be small and for the most part simple, or vice versa.

These puzzles represent our emotional, mental and physical selves. Your wants and needs to survive. Your situation. Your history. Your future path.

It is your puzzle and yours alone.


For a really long time, I have tried to solve other people’s puzzles.

I try to take the pieces when they are overwhelmed, and I hold onto them so the other person feels better. But in the end, this doesn’t help. They end up trying to solve their puzzle while missing pieces, and I can’t solve my own while holding so many pieces that don’t belong to me.

At the ripe age of 29, I have realized that it’s time to fix and focus on my own puzzle.

You have choices when it comes to these puzzles. You can continue to try and fix everyone else’s puzzles while yours stays stagnant or you can concentrate on your own piece by piece.

You have a choice. In life, work, relationships you always have a choice. Work out what your wants are, and what your needs are. Just yours and no one else’s. Be selfish about your puzzle. No one else can put yours together. You can get help to start it but from there it’s all on you.

Ask yourself: What do I love? Do I love myself? Who am I? A good friend of mine asked this question and couldn’t answer it! I had lost myself in a sea of other people’s puzzle pieces. They told me to stop and put down the pieces which were not my own, and try to sort out my puzzle first.

So for all of you out there struggling with your puzzle, know this. Right now your puzzle may be in 10000000 pieces. Eventually, with time, and focus, and love, the pieces will all fall into place and the puzzle will begin to take shape.

I am slowly working on my puzzle.

I am still lending help to those around me with theirs. But this is now on my terms. I give a little, but not my all. I need to save some of that emotional energy for myself!




Shea is a Support Ambasssador with AAAF and has been living with Alopecia Areata for many years. A busy dance teacher and proud mum of two beautiful girls, Shea knows that even through tough times, a strong support system and a vibrant sense of humor can get you through anything that alopecia may throw at you. She is very happy to be contacted if anyone has questions, needs to have a chat, or even a good cry. You can find out more about our Support Ambassadors here.



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